CULTURE
The Intergalactic
Space Chronicle
Super Plastic Man
By M.B. Alexander
Plastic, plastic, plastic, plastic!! As we all know from the 20th century deep into the 21st-century humanity was been addicted to plastic. They had all the plastic knickknacks under the sun. No matter how ridiculous its' advertised promise was, they bought it. Because it was pretty; it kept their kids busy; it took some hair off. They were very hairy back then. Thank Google, we’ve mostly bioengineered that out of our DNA.
There were, of course, plenty of downsides to this bad habit, and it caused a lot of damage to the environment. Without the invention of plastic germs we’d all be living in a plastic ball kingdom as we speak.
But it also gave humanity Super Plastic Man. Who doesn't love that lovable straw-haired do-gooder?
His story could have been sad. Or deeply disturbing, after all, he did crash into one of the last plastic landfills with a whole tank full of DNA altering chemicals and lots of skin fusing nanoparticles, which were destined for a baby designing facility.
With that amount of exposure to poisonous substances, it was a miracle that he didn't melt into a gooey human puddle. Instead, he rose up from the plastic, a changed man, a plastic man. With a plastic nightlight of a mushroom for a nose, skin completely covered in colorful empty bags of Doritos, Oreos, M&Ms, Kitkats, Snickers, and Rees’s pieces right over his heart, cans of Coca-Cola, Pepsi, and Sprite merged together into a protective armor, and a new, slightly stinky, superhero was born.
The shock value alone helped him catch criminals. Not to mention the crippling moral guilt they felt when they saw him. In a very odd way, he really helped clean up the city.